American Cesspool

If you haven't already been exposed to a Sonic Drive-In, it is a shit hole. It's almost the epitome of everything wrong in American society. There really is NO way at all to cover up how much this fails at life, even a child with down-syndrome will know enough not to go near what is arguably the highest concentration of persons with diabetes in one space outside Key West, Florida.

Imagine if you will, you're hungry and you pass by various fine establishments disregarding the other passengers in your vehicle until eventually you spot what looks to be a new avant-garde form of dining. You pull the car up to SONIC DRIVE-IN! You may be asking yourself at this moment what in hell is a Drive In? Well, it's basically a parking lot with a drive-through menu on each parking space, where you can order as many edible carcinogens until your heart is content or stops beating.

WOW, how original, Sonic has taken a Drive-Through commonly seen in almost every fast-food joint and stipped the concept of its original purpose; speed. Now instead of zipping in and out of a Drive-Through with haste, you now must park your car, order, and EAT IN YOUR CAR. Yea, that's right, you have to scarf down that half-pounder with cheese, shake, and tatertots like a greasy Alabama trucker, all items being conveniently rested on a tray that attaches to the edge of your side window.

How did the entrepreneur of Sonic even think of it? It's as though he went through a drive-through and said to himself "Oh screw this shit, I'm hungry NOW" and ate an entire goddamn sack of food-stuffs before the cashier window even gave him back his change.

If you're trying to portray the role of "uncivilized piece of shit", I suggest you head down to Sonic immediately, where you can not only be served by zit-faced teens on roller skates but also escalate your status from "sniffling lazy shit" to "portable garbage disposal"

Aye capitain, the flagship of capitalism sets sail with a poop-deck full of lard-ass consumers. Yarggg.